Friday, September 9, 2011

The double-edge belly

I've never been a small girl. Well, I take that back. When I was born, I think I was 6 pounds something but since then, I've become a compass of sorts with things sticking out of me from every single direction.

But my body tends to invent new directional aid's when I get pregnant. You know that commercial that says that science is getting closer to determining the minute a woman is pregnant? Yea, I don't need no stinkin' test. I have my stomach and my boobs. Boobs? Not a problem. Stomach? Huge problem. At 10.5 weeks gestation, I look about 5 months pregnant and there's no sucking it in. Anyone try to suck in your uterus? It's an epic fail.

I've tried those stomach/breath girdle's but I turn blue the minute I pull it out of the drawer. I've tried to wear just really baggy clothes but my boobs get so big that by the sheer fall of the fabric, my stomach almost always gets accentuated. So, what's a girl to do? I embrace it....I don't mean some guru "love your body" type of stuff. I mean, LITERALLY embrace it.

Hi, my name is Dani and I'm a 1st trimester stomach rubber. Oh sure, later on in the pregnancy, it becomes a bonding/sweet/ loving thing but at this stage? It's merely complete vanity. I'd rather someone see me and instead of quadruple-taking the size of my stomach, start the rumor that I'm months from popping. They needn't know how many months....

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